Jack Slyda was once described by Dan Martin as the craziest motherf**ker to bless the annals of modern music after he performed a bass solo for the entire duration of a transatlantic flight while strapped to the wing of a prop plane. Charles Lindsey once said “after that fire-breathing incident the world of big beat will never be the same.” Another famous music journalist who wished to remain anonymous once stated “something smells mighty funky in here.” The lovechild of James Brown and Scott Kirkland, Jack Slyda was raised in an orphanage by wolves who taught him how to play the piano on an old Wurlitzer donated by the Society for the Protection of Cruelty Against Artists. His early childhood was a happy one, despite the Lord-of-the-flies incident that no one is permitted to speak about (NDA verboten). He spent his formative years banging drums and plucking strings while chained to a large boiler for the protection of himself and others. After inventing a new style of music in 2005, Jack Slyda destroyed all of the masters and burnt the studio to the ground before he quickly disappeared from the scene, citing “that’s not for everybody!” Now, to everyone’s amazement he has returned from his reclusive and mysterious sabbatical to lay siege upon the world of electronic music with his new style of post-simpatico hyper-dimensional electro-punk neo-crunk breakbeat; combining elements from funk, big beat, techno, house and drum-N-bass to forge a new musical form that will carry humanity into the 22nd century. F$%k AI, F$%k social awareness and F$%k Kanye West, what will be will be, the future's not ours to say, only rock can guide us into the new millennium.
Jack Slyda is a musician and producer. Originally from the world of rock and fusion, he now creates a variety of different styles of electronic music influenced by 90s big beat, house, techno, DnB and funk.
Jack Slyda rejects the notion of not being paid for his music. Distribution services like Spotify pay fractions of cents to artists while taking 99% of the money for themselves. The music industry is literally the most exploitative industry in the world. Even porn stars get paid to get f**ked. Musicians are frequently the indentured servants of record companies and distribution services. These abusive businesses make a fortune off the talent and hard work of musicians while leaving the artists with scraps. In 2023 Spotify updated their royalty requirements with the result that more than half of all songs on the platform are not eligible for royalty payouts. Independent artists glean no benefit from having their work on Spotify other than the remote possibility that they may get “discovered.” Even then, all of their work is up there on the site so if they do get discovered they won’t make any worthwhile profits anyway. Jack Slyda would like you to change the way that you look at music. You couldn’t walk into an art gallery, take a picture off the wall and just walk out with it. That’s because art has value, and music is art. If there is music that you like to listen to, then the artist who made it deserves to be paid. If you made it to this website then congratulations, you have the opportunity to support Jack Slyda directly by buying his songs directly from him. When you purchase a song from this website you are getting a high quality MP3 file that you can put on your phone, laptop or music player. That copy is yours for life. You don’t need a subscription, there are no added costs, you can listen to it when you want, as many times as you want. What’s more you will be encouraging Jack Slyda to create more music. When an artist gets paid for their work it drastically improves the likelihood that they will keep making more. Just think about your work, how often would you turn up to your job if they just stopped paying you?
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